I’ve got my appointment with the psychologist today. I always feel like he’s going to yell at me for not doing something that we talked about, or for rescheduling my appointments and not coming in for several weeks. I don’t think that’s his job, but he intimidates me. Well, so did the last one and there was nothing intimidating about her. It’s me, I know. I need to get over it. But I have this constant anxiety and it just builds up more and more every time I have to go talk to someone about what’s going on with me. Doesn’t even matter what doc it is, all of them make me nervous. I feel like I’m going to sound stupid or I’m not going to be able to explain things the right way, or they just won’t get it so it’ll be a lost cause. I guess it’s like talking to anyone else who does not experience these same issues. They don’t get it, and then I feel so let down and frustrated. I can take their criticism and ideas and they all sound good, but I already know they won’t work. I’ve tried them all before. It’s more than just trying to do something. I need help. And it needs to come from someone who understands how my mind works and doesn’t put me down or look at me like I’m crazy. Is there such a person? I know there is, I’ve read their books or blogs or articles before. I just can’t afford to pay them to help me out. And why is that? Because I have ADHD and can’t get my $ situation together, because I can’t get organized, because I have no idea how time works, and it goes on and on. I can start one project but then get overwhelmed by how much there is to do. Then I get distracted by something else, and something else and something else. How does one stay on track? How does one learn how to stay on track?
1:51pm: Well that was truly a frustrating experience, although I must say I learned a few things. But, the psychologist was convinced that the psychiatrist I’m supposed to see next week is really a psychologist and so therefore a complete waste of my time to go through all that re-evaluation, etc. So now I’m thinking, what exactly is my primary care doc going to do about meds if her whole point was to send me to a psychiatrist to get a second opinion. Of course I looked online and it seems to be the case that this person really is a psychiatrist (man I hope so!). Although, I’m still not quite sure what the point was since there was no real recommendation provided as far as what changes to be made with medication. Maybe he sent something to the pc doc, who knows. I’m calming down now. That experience almost made me cry.
Other than that I guess I’m supposed to pay some attention to my sleep patterns now too. So, last night, went to be around 10:30, probably fell asleep after 11pm. BF’s son woke us up around 2:30 because his knee hurt, so that was probably a good 30-60 minute interruption before I got back to sleep. Alarms started going off at 6am over and over until 7:30 when I finally got up. So how many hours of sleep does that add up to? Math sucks. 3.5 + 2.5 + 1.5 (very disruptive) = 6-7.5 hours. Wow that’s not enough. No wonder I’m tired all day long.
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Poor thing! Don't you hate doctors!! they are all dumb I think! I have a suggestion...maybe see if there is a group or something of the sort, a chat room if you will, of people with ADHD and maybe venting with people who truley understand will help. Maybe others can suggest good docs as well!!!
Have a good one and I also suggest ear plugs!! lol
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